Shaping a talk

One thing I do is help people find their personal stories - and shape them into talks.

Usually we start with about 30 minutes.

It’s a conversation. A bit like a consult. A bit like brainstorming. They talk. I listen.

But I’m not just listening to the stories themselves.

I’m listening for where they go quiet... where something shifts... where they move on a little too quickly. That’s usually where something is.

And then we keep going. We meet again. And again.

Because often the talk they think they’re going to give... isn’t the talk that actually wants to be told.

The other day I was working with a CEO - 25 years in, a lot of experience, a lot of stories. After he shared a list, I asked, “Which one feels relevant right now?” He said, “They’re all relevant. Honestly, your job is to tell me which one is best.” And... I get that.

People want clarity. Direction. The answer.

But I said, “I can’t do that.”

“You’ve lived your life for 50+ years. I’m just meeting you. I’m not going to tell you what story you should tell.” “My job is to listen. To reflect. To point to what I’m hearing. But the choice - that has to come from you.”

It was a bit of a risk. He could have decided I wasn’t helpful.

Instead... something softened.

The edge dropped.

The performance dropped.

And he started talking with me.

Not at me.

That’s when the work actually starts.

Not when we pick the “best” story - but when something real begins to come forward.

And from there... we follow it.